Winter Retreat 2010

I went to my church's retreat this last weekend.
I've been asked from many different people to explain what this weekend
was like for me, what happened, what I learned.
Honestly, I can't think of a better way to explain it, but through writing.
Because when I talk about it, I tend to forget major details,
please bear with me as I jump from topic to topic. :)

Friday, February 12th-Day 1

Who is God?
We usually associate who he is, through what he means to us at the moment,
or in the current situation we are in.
For example, if you are upset, you view him as your comforter (which he is).
If you are unhappy, you may view him as your joy. (which he also is.)
Or if you are heartbroken, you may view him as your healer. (again, he is.)
But we tend to associate him only with those things that we want him to be.
We forget that he is so much more than our healer, comforter and our joy.
He is every good and amazing thing we could ever think of.
Which blows my mind.

A heart needs four things. (according to Jon Tyson.)
1. A sense of Wonder.
2. A quest for Truth.
3. True Love.
4. Security.

Jesus is all of those things.
Many people look for these things in everything other than God.
I'm not saying that you cannot have wonder, truth, love and security
in people. But before you can truly find those things in people, you
have to find them in God.

He's forgiven everyone for all of the horrible things you've done.
All of the sins that you've committed.
He was there when you did them, and he's here now.

Saturday, February 13th-Day 2

The speed of Life.
We go through everyday constantly thinking about what else we have
to accomplish that day, that week, that month, that year.

People find life so hard to appreciate now because we have an
idealized future. But we have to fully engage ourselves in what's
going on NOW. Not tomorrow, not yesterday, now.

(Matthew 6 v. 25, Do not worry about tomorrow, today has enough
trouble of it's own.)

God doesn't think about our to-do list, or the mistakes we've made in the past.
He cares about us today, and everyday.
You cannot find God if you rush through your life.

To be able to live in the now, we have to be able to pray about our
problems, to be still, and spend time with God.
A lot of people know the bible, very few know themselves.

We need to:
1. Walk slowly through the world.
2. Take the time to notice where God is working, and has worked in your life.
3. Be here NOW. Be fully present.

Sunday, February 14th-Day 3

We have to be able to arrange our lives in the way where sin and temptation
no longer looks good to us. We have to be so on fire for God that we are no
longer affected by the things that Satan is tempting us with.

All temptation is, is something to try and make you doubt God.

Satan will do anything in his power to rob you of your Joy.
Because joyless Christianity, is not Christianity, because our God
is a God of complete Joy.

Christianity is about Joy and Celebration.


Alright, well that's what I learned this weekend, and I hope
you learned something as well. :)

What happens...happens.

It's a good idea to pray about what you're supposed
to do about everything you're worried about.
This advice can be considered hypocritical, because
I consider myself religious and yet I don't pray about everything.

But honestly, not being in control of your life takes alot off your shoulders.
Just pray about everything and surrender it.

What happens is meant to happen even if it's not what you planned.

Day 6

Whoops. I forgot to write on here yesterday.
Oh well. It was a pretty uneventful and long day yesterday.
Well except for the fact that Josiah died.
On his birthday.
He was the guy that I talked about a few days ago.
His entire church was praying for him, as well as our
entire high school. But, some good things came out of
it. He saved five lives with his organs.
His memorial service is on tuesday.
This is depressing.

Winter Retreat 2009

Winter Retreat 2009

Thanks for acting like you care

I don't know who to believe.
How are you supposed to know if someone cares about you FOR REAL?
Because Ive had friends where, it comes to a certain time where I really
do love them. And all of a sudden its like...
"Nevermind. Lets pretend we were never friends, that we never talked. Bye."
I hate loosing people like that.
And it makes me so aware of the people around me.
I don't want anyone else to just get up and leave at any given moment.
I want to be there for as many of my friends as possible.
No matter how many mistakes they have made.
I want to be the person they go to when they are having problems.
I want to be the person they go to when they have a secret that they need to share.
I want to be the person that they can rely on for anything.
But...I was thinking about it.
If I want all of those things, I think that I need to win this battle that I've been fighting.
Lately, I've just felt really under fire. (Ironic isn't it?)
I've been really battling everything around me.
No one can tell on the outside, but It's been pretty difficult so far.
I think I'm winning.

Grace

Grace: The freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.

There are two reasons that I named this blog Grace Under Fire.
1. My middle name is Grace.
2. The above definition means alot to me.

We can't survive without God's grace.
He gives grace to us everyday, everytime we sin.
He loves us no matter what we have said or done.
No matter what we have thought.

I need to remind myself of that sometimes.

Hosanna

So i went to Church Camp about a month ago.
If you are a teenager, and you have never been to
a summer or winter camp.

You need to go.

I cannot even begin to explain what an impact
camp had on me.

I went to my first winter camp two years ago.
Not knowing anyone.
Going for three days.
I was freaked out to say the least.

But i'm unbelievably glad that i went.
It made me figure out that i can have a personal
relationship with God.

I had been taught this all of my life of course.
But i had never really known it.

I have talked to many of the adults that went
to those camps with us to supervise.
And all of them were amazed to see all of us worship.

For some reason i feel most comfortable with God
when i'm singing.
I feel a certain closeness that i just don't feel when
the preacher is talking.
It makes me sad sometimes.
But i wouldn't change those times for anything.

I'm going to try and explain to you how worship is
at a camp filled with 380 high school students , most
of them only knowing a few people.

So everyone is standing up. Singing at the top of their
lungs, reaching up, or out, however they feel comfortable.
You can look around you and just see everyone sobbing,
but smiling and laughing, not caring what people think of them
at that moment in time. Not caring if people are looking at them.
Just focused on the music, and the lyrics, and that feeling
that God is with you.

Ahh. Its amazing.

There were so many songs that made people just let go.
I couldn't believe the unity of everyone.

The last night that we were there, we sang a few songs,
had a session that the guest speaker taught, and then we sang one
more song.

Hosannah.

Everyone got out of their seats and went to the front of the room.
We were all squished together, holding hands with the people next
to us. (on one side of me happened to be miley cyrus's brother... odd)
But anyway. We were all singing and comforting eachother, and just
holding everyone.

I think that proves that you do need other people in your relationship
with God.

You need people to help you get to the next level of faith. You need
bonds.

Such as the Chapman Family.

Steven Curtis Chapman is a Christian Singer, who has 3 adopted
girls from China, and two biological sons, and one biological daughter.

Their seventeen year old son ran over their 5 year old daughter Maria
in the driveway by accident.

It just makes me so mad. Horrible things happen to such wonderful
people. Its just....horrible.

But i watched a video of the Chapman family on Good Morning America.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh2VFkF7NLo
and they were talking about their loss, and that what made it easier was
that they had people to share their grief with, people who could comfort
them, who could just love them.

So i've been thinking.
I just need to love people.
I need to realize how blessed i am that i have a whole family.
That we haven't suffered a blow that bad, like the Chapmans.
I need to learn from them, how to have faith.
So i'm challenging myself to just take in how much i have,
to always remember that God loves me, and to love
people to the full capacity of my heart.

Maria Sue Chapman, 2003-2008

I see the king of glory

Coming on the clouds with fire

The whole earth shakes

The whole earth shakes

I see his love and mercy Washing over all our sin

The people sing

The people sing

Hosanna Hosanna Hosanna in the highest

I see a generation Rising up to take their place

With selfless faith

With selfless faith

see a near revival Stirring as we pray and seek

We're on our knees

We're on our knees

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours

Everything I am for your kingdoms cause

As I go from nothing to Eternity

Hosanna

Hosanna

Hosanna in the highest

I Will Put Out Hell's Fire With a Water Pistol.

So I just got back from Fusion...or Wednesday night church.

During the sermon tonight, the topic was-in a sense...waking up.
In the beginning of the sermon, Our youth pastor-Nathan-was
talking about how, in the morning, one of his daughters would wake
him up by just standing by his bed waiting for him to open his eyes.
Then he started talking about the song his mom used to sing to
him to get him out of bed. As he said that i started thinking hmmm
my mother does that to me too. Then he said all of a sudden...God
does that to you all the time and i bet you never even knew.
Well that got me thinking.
He then asked everyone...do you sometimes wake up in the
middle of the night wondering why the heck your awake? Or sometimes,
can you just not fall asleep and wonder why its taking so long to fall asleep?

Yes.

Well maybe you just need to ask God...what do you want me to do?
Of course you just might have alot on your mind at the time.
But what if...what if-God is trying to get you to pray for someone,
or maybe he is trying to get you to just understand something thats
going on in your life.

Then he told us that if something like that happens again that we should
just ask. Then listen. Then do.

I dont remember exactly what verses we were studying but the book was
1st Peter, i think.

But anyways Peter was in jail because Herod put him there for reasons
i cannot recall. However Herod put 4 squads with four men each in the jail
guarding Peter becuase he knew that Peter was friends with God...and
of course This King was stronger than the King of the Universe *smirk*
So the whole church heard about this arrest and started praying constantly.

That night Peter was awakened because this Angel had kicked him...
He had two choices to make.
1. Wake up.
2. Say some four letter words and turn over.

He chose to wake up.
And the Angel told him to get up and get dressed...so he did.
And he followed the Angel out of the cell, out of the jail, and
through the gates. (Past all of the guards)
At first Peter thought this was a vision, but then the Angel
left him and Peter was like...woah cool dude!..And went
to a place where some of the people from the
church were praying.

So he knocked on the door and a girl came to the door, and
as soon as she recognized Peter's voice she freaked out
and ran to tell everyone else. (Pastor Nathan claims he
knows this girl is a teenager because she ran and
forgot to open the door because she was so excited..?..although
i have done that before..but so?)

Back to the story. So she ran to tell the church people that
Peter was at the door knocking (still) and that the had
to go see him. But they were all like uhh noo he's
not! God will let him go tomorrow, not tonight.
But they decided to go to the door and sure enough...
there he was. Knocking away.

So in my opinion...the lessons of that story are...
1.Listen to God. Even in the early hours of the morning
...or late hours of the night.
2. God might come when you least expect him to.
3. You cannot personalize God, you cannot expect
him to be whatever you want.
4. Teenagers aren't stupid, and you shouldn't look
down on people or think less of them just because of their age.
(If your going with the whole thing where the girl was a teen)
5.Pray all the time. Because what if the people at the
church were like..hey he won't be killed till tomorrow,
so we will just wait till then to pray for his safety!
Because there are people going through bad things even
when you don't know it. Some of your friends might be having
a hard time at life...and you should be like-
Hey God, i love you will you please help out my buddy?
And the thing is...maybe God wants you to help out your friend
...are you just going to say -uh no thanks, im not good at doing that...
don't think twice about doing something that God wants you to do.
Loose your pride...its whats keeping you back.
Be OUTGOING.
Be KIND.
Be LOVING.

Because believe it or not...it might make someones day.
Or even save their life.
If you just say-hey, i love you man. and give 'em a hug.